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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24562663">Derek Never Takes His Pants Off</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly'>bobbiejelly</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>MerAdd My Heart <3 [40]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Headfuck Love Square, How Derek found out, MerAdd, meddison</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:54:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,566</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24562663</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Addison Montgomery is not really into threesomes after all, and neither is Meredith Grey (especially not with the one Derek Christopher Shepherd). F/F. Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery. MerAdd. Meddison. Rated E for Explicit. Grey's Anatomy Fanfiction.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>MerAdd My Heart <3 [40]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687834</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Derek Never Takes His Pants Off</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/User_lX/gifts">User_lX</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davedemoneon/gifts">Davedemoneon</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadngay/gifts">sadngay</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bi_myself2/gifts">Bi_myself2</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/lineeelin/gifts">lineeelin</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illyiad/gifts">Illyiad</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arahneia/gifts">Arahneia</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/AddisonAddek/gifts">AddisonAddek</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hotgitay/gifts">Hotgitay</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordofLezzies/gifts">LordofLezzies</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiaskye/gifts">indiaskye</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arissen/gifts">Arissen</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmyLilas/gifts">EmyLilas</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kristin_Aubrie/gifts">Kristin_Aubrie</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=StepIsInsanity">StepIsInsanity</a>.</li>


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/7109155">Tossed Around Like Sea Glass</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/StephyInsanity/pseuds/StephyInsanity">StephyInsanity</a>.
        </li>
        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/629506">3way Gone Wrong</a> by authorjazmyne.
        </li>
        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24399436">Move Over, Derek!</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly">bobbiejelly</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Gifted to those who have recently placed comments and kudos on MerAdd stories :D.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>Author's Note:</em>
</p><p>Here's my second crack at '"Well this is cozy, can I join in? Or are you two not into threesomes?" Addison asks Derek and Meredith as she approaches both of them near the elevator.'</p><p>Obviously inspired by the other works of this kind, like "Tossed Around Like Sea Glass," by StepIsInsanity on Ao3 and "3Way Gone Wrong," by authorjazmyne on Fanfiction. This is a more abridged version of 'Move Over, Derek,' with less Derek than that one. This is a one-shot that will likely remain a one-shot. </p><p>Enjoy!</p><p>
  <em>bobbiejelly</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>Derek Never Takes His Pants Off</strong> </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Addison Montgomery is not really into threesomes after all, and neither is Meredith Grey (especially not with the one Derek Christopher Shepherd). F/F. Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery. MerAdd. Meddison. Rated E for Explicit. Grey's Anatomy Fanfiction.</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>"Well this is cozy, can I join in? Or are you two not into threesomes?" Addison Montgomery asks Derek Shepherd (her ex-husband) and Meredith (her husband's ex-mistress) as she approaches both of them near the elevator.</p><p>"Well I would be with you Addison," Meredith Grey says boldly.</p><p>"WHAT?!" Derek Shepherd exclaims.</p><p>"Why, would you not be? You married her, wouldn't you want one last time with her? With me? I'm giving you my permission, as long as I get to fuck her too, y'know...!"</p><p>"What, are you afraid she'll run away from you to become a lesbian instead?" Addison teases Derek for Meredith.</p><p>"Not gonna happen. She's in love with me. I'm Mr. McDreamy. Fine, threesome it is. My place at eight," Derek deadpans.</p><p>"Please, God, not the trailer again! And I don't think Addison's hotel room will be big enough for all of us," Meredith squeals.</p><p> </p><p>%%%</p><p> </p><p>"I'll buy all my roommates movie tickets and tell them not to come home. My place is more cozy!" Meredith promises.</p><p>"I'll chip in for the movie tickets for your friends. I think I still owe them something for being McSatan," says Addison.</p><p>"Thanks, Addison," says Meredith.</p><p>Normally Meredith doesn't call Doctor Montgomery by her first name, and Addison doesn't fail to notice how nice it sounds off her lips.</p><p>"Fine. I'll pay for a third of the movie thing for the interns too. See you at Mer's house. I'll come over after my hematoma surgery at eight," Derek concedes to the two women.</p><p>"I'll send you a picture of what sparkling lemonade to buy, Derek, and can you pick up Indian takeout on your way over? We'll chip in for it, of course, right, Meredith" says Addison, rather amused by these prospects.</p><p>And Meredith chirps happily at this, saying to her current boyfriend (and Addison's ex-husband) to "get Butter chicken!" while Derek grumbles a bit and says he will stop by the restaurant and grocery store. Then he mutters to himself as he walks away 'why are women so complicated...'</p><p> </p><p>%%%</p><p> </p><p>Meredith and Addison are finished work far before eight.</p><p>Addison's last surgery finished at four and she goes off to find Doctor Grey.</p><p>"Hey, Meredith, when do you finish?" She finds the blonde in the locker room, getting her things and sits down next to her on the bench.</p><p>"Hmm, well, I could finish in about ten minutes if you keep whispering sweet nothings into my ear. Would you like to give me a warm-up before your ex-hubby comes home to my house?" Meredith says this all seductively, while rubbing Addison's thigh up and down.</p><p>"Ooh, for sure. I'd love to see why the hell Derek left me for you. I'm not terrible in bed myself but you must be mind-blowing, you're that good..." Addison gushes at Meredith, revealing she's been wanting to do this for quite some time now, and not because of Derek, but for herself and Meredith.</p><p> </p><p>%%%</p><p> </p><p>Meredith takes her pants off the moment she locks the door behind her.</p><p>Meredith strips leaving her clothes all over her own house in delight.</p><p>It takes all of three seconds for Addison to jump her and kiss her against the staircase.</p><p>"You really are worth kissing you know," Meredith smirks as she takes Addison's top off.</p><p>"As are you," Addison smirks back as she takes her own pants off.</p><p>They're naked one minute later, and Addison has straddled Meredith on the damn staircase and has shoved her fingers into Meredith's core.</p><p>"Faster, faster, faster," Meredith groans as she slips her own hand into Addison's heat.</p><p>It takes all of ten minutes for them to come the first time.</p><p>After it's over, all Meredith says is "we need to fuck somewhere more convenient than my damn stairwell,".</p><p> </p><p>%%%</p><p> </p><p>More convenient ends up being on top of Meredith's kitchen table, because Addison wanted a drink of water and Meredith didn't want to wait any longer.</p><p>This time Meredith has lifted Addison onto the island and she's shoved her face into Addison's center.</p><p>Addison babbles louder and louder until she can feel her second orgasm ripple through her and Meredith makes her scream.</p><p>Addison returns the favor with Meredith sitting on her face as she laps into her hungrily with wild abandon.</p><p>"We have to do this more often," Meredith pants, and Addison agrees.</p><p>There are no sounds at the door yet so they continue on doing what they do without further complications.</p><p>Meredith bends Addison over her chair and after that, Addison has Meredith holding onto the wall.</p><p>"Harder, harder, harder," is what Derek Christopher Shepherd ends up walking into as he uses the spare key he knows is hidden under the doormat to unlock Meredith's front door.</p><p>The two women get dressed simultaneously and try to look presentable for dinner, as if it weren't obvious to Derek they'd just been screwing for the better part of six hours.</p><p> </p><p>%%%</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Derek never takes his pants off.</em>
</p><p>He doesn't bother because, after dinner, both women put the dishes in the sink and start making out against Meredith's counter.</p><p>"Look, are you going to be into me or not at all, after all?" Derek finally deadpans, causing Meredith and Addison to look up at him sympathetically.</p><p>"Umm, I'm sorry Derek, but I'm leaving you for your ex-wife. We sort of talked about it after the first two times we slept together. I'm going to move to LA in two weeks to do my residency at St. Ambrose, they already accepted me. I must have forgotten to mention it," Meredith says to Derek, rather sheepishly.</p><p>"Maybe you can call Mark Sloan to come to have a twosome with you. He volunteered to go for a transcontinental booty call for me, I bet he'd fly in from New York to have a night with his best friend," Addison teases Derek.</p><p>"Say hi to Addison's ex-dirty-mister for me as well!" Meredith says in a singsong voice as Derek grumbles again and mutters "not everyone is gay, you know, though apparently my ex-wife and my ex-girlfriend both are... For each other..."</p><p>Addison and Meredith both laugh as he lays the sparkling lemonade on the table for them and in return, Meredith calls out to him "take that bottle of scotch if you want, Derek. I only bought it for when you come over, anyway."</p><p>Derek does this, and leaves, and Meredith and Addison burst into laughter at Addison trying to fix Derek up with Mark Sloan.</p><p> </p><p>%%%</p><p> </p><p>As it turns out though, when Mark Sloan walks into Seattle Grace Hospital the very next weekend, all he says, while motioning to their mutual ex who is curled into his shoulder is "Hey, ladies. I heard you met my new boyfriend, Derek Shepherd. Maybe we could go on a couples night sometime soon?"</p><p>Addison Montgomery and Meredith Grey both say yes to him, as long as Derek Shepherd never takes off his pants in front of them, ever again. And Mark Sloan and Derek Shepherd both say "sure" in agreement.</p><p>One week after that, Mark Sloan moves into Derek Shepherd's trailer and Meredith sublets her room to another intern. She packs up most of her things with Addison's assistance, and they drive off to California with the windows down and their hands held together.</p><p>"You know, you're right I guess we're not into threesomes after all," Meredith finally says to Addison as they pull onto the freeway.</p><p>"Who knew, and Derek never did take his pants off with us, and we still managed to get him going steady with Mark!" Addison laughs back with her.</p><p>And as they take off for the beach and the sun, Meredith Grey and Addison Montgomery could not be happier with the way things worked out, after all.</p><p> </p><p>%%%</p><p> </p><p>FIN.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>THANK YOU FOR READING!</strong>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Author's Note:</em>
</p><p>Well, there's nothing very genius about this one.</p><p>It's quite predictable, though I hope you got at least one laugh out of it.</p><p>It was mostly written anyway, so I thought it might want to live posted.</p><p>This is a work of satire of the aforementioned fanfictions, because "Tossed Around Like Sea Glass," happens in Addison's hotel room, and "3Way Gone Wrong," happens at the Trailer. So I wanted to explore the third option, AKA, Meredith's house.</p><p>Plus I like to gift Mark to Derek as a consolation prize, so to speak.</p><p>See you around in the reviews, folks, and have a great day!</p><p>If you want to read a longer story along these lines, feel free to check out:</p><h4>
  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24399436"> Move Over, Derek! </a>
</h4><h4>
  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24252541"> Ultimate Revenge </a>
</h4><h4>
  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24077548"> McCravings </a>
</h4><h4>
  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24201019"> Cinnamon </a>
</h4><h4>
  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24169579"> You Know, I Know The Feeling... </a>
</h4><p>Take care,</p><p> </p><h4 class="heading">
  <em> <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly">bobbiejelly</a> </em>
</h4><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>THANK YOU!</p></blockquote><div class="children module" id="children">
  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
  <ul>
    <li>
        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24399436">Move Over, Derek!</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly">bobbiejelly</a>
    </li>
  </ul>
</div></div></div>
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